Actress of a Certain Age: My Twenty-Year Trail to Overnight Success($18.99Value)

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A NATIONAL BESTSELLER A humorous collection of autobiographical essays from comedian and Emmy Award–winning actor Jeff Hiller, who shares his journey from growing up “profoundly gay” in 1980s Texas to his experiences as an inept social worker and how he clawed, scraped, and brawled to Hollywood’s lower middle-tier. While struggling to find success as an actor and pay the bills, something accidentally happened to Jeff Hiller: he aged. And while it’s one thing to get older and rest on the laurels of success from the blood, sweat, and tears of your youth, it’s quite another to be old and have no laurels. At forty, stuck in a temp job making spreadsheets, the dream of becoming a star seemed out of reach. But after twenty-five years of guest roles on TV and performing improv in a grocery store basement, he finally struck gold with a breakout role on HBO’s Somebody Somewhere , playing Joel—the kind of best friend everyone wishes they had. In his book, Jeff dives into the grit and grind of climbing the Hollywood ladder. It’s a raw and often hilarious tale of the struggles, triumphs, and humiliations that shaped him into the wonderfully imperfect person he is today. With a mix of awkward charm and heartfelt honesty, Jeff shares his journey: growing up very Lutheran in Texas, navigating bullying as a gay kid, working as a social worker for unhoused youth and HIV prevention, and the endless ups and downs of being a struggling actor. For every one of us who have a dream that we’re chasing—and chasing, and chasing—his is a funny, moving, and utterly relatable story. Jeff Hiller is an Emmy Award–winning actor, writer, and comedian who has appeared on TV shows such as Somebody Somewhere , American Horror Story: NYC , Crazy Ex-Girlfriend , 30 Rock , and Law and Order: CI , among numerous others. His film roles include Greta , Morning Glory , Ghost Town , and Set it Up , and he has performed on Broadway, off-Broadway, in Shakespeare in the Park, Disney musicals, and regional theater. Jeff regularly performs solo shows at Joe’s Pub at the Public Theatre and improvises at The Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in LA and NYC. Girl Walks into a Bar Girl Walks into a Bar by RACHEL DRATCHI Hello. Welcome to my memoir. My essay collection? My celebrity autobiography with a really loose definition of the word celebrity ? Which one sounds the least pretentious and navel-gaze-y? Let’s call it that. You might be concerned that you are going to invest time in reading this book and it won’t give you what you want. I want you to know that I have your back, because I am also a voracious reader of these types of books. I have read literally hundreds of books by actors about their lives. For real. This is not an exaggeration. Hundreds . Most of the books I have read are by actresses of a certain age. I am a middle-aged homosexual, after all, it’s what we do. There is only so much fighting it before you just have to lean in and admit that you can’t get enough of Candice Bergen talking about her life. And trust me, I cannot get enough. I have read not one but two full-length memoirs by Ms. Bergen. And she isn’t the only actor whose multiple volumes I have consumed. I’ve also conquered two volumes each from Anjelica Huston, Brooke Shields, and Alan Cumming. I listened to Barbra Streisand’s book—which is technically just one volume, but at forty-eight hours and fifteen minutes, it does a lot to illustrate my commitment to the genre. I possess all sorts of intimate knowledge about these celebrities. For instance, did you know that Blanche made love to Benson? Yes! Rue McClanahan, who played Blanche on The Golden Girls , had an affair with Robert Guillaume, who played Benson on Benson (and on Soap, ’cause Benson was a spin-off). She rated his lovemaking skill a 10 and referred to him as “Mr. Guillaume”! This fact has absolutely nothing to do with my life or this book. Please don’t expect me to have stories about sex with other actors on sitcoms. I’m just telling you this because I need to mention this sexy real-life crossover episode to as many people as possible. You want to hear some other fun facts I have gleaned? Rosie Perez was fired from Soul Train for throwing a piece of chicken at Don Cornelius; Rita Moreno was on the cover of Time magazine before any movie role made her famous because she looked like a Latina Liz Taylor; and Blake Edwards referred to the genitalia of his wife, Julie Andrews, as a lilac bush. I have read so many books that I know the tricks and pitfalls. I assure you that I am aware of the clichés in celebrity memoirs. Which is not to say I am necessarily going to avoid these clichés. I like some of them. One of my favorites is the Buried Importance cliché, where the celebrity mentions something as if it’s an innocuous fact and then gives you the full details in a tone that suggests Can you even believe that was what I was talking about? Yeah. Here are a couple of extr